From the incessantly advertised fantasy football websites to online gaming and poker sites, to the lottery, to Indian casinos, and to Las Vegas, providing people with the opportunities to gamble is as widespread throughout society as they have ever been. Many, if not most, people can participate in gambling on a recreational basis. However, there are some people that just don’t know when to fold, when to give up, when to put their wallets away. Before they know it, they are not just gambling away their money but gambling away their own family’s financial well-being. Some will gamble just their paycheck, which is bad enough. Others are willing to dig deeper to “win bigger”, including family fortunes. children’s trust funds and savings accounts. When it comes to Family Law, gambling can carry serious consequences that can greatly affect all the parties involved.

• Social Effects Of Gambling
• Negative Effects Of Gambling
• Causes And Effects Of Gambling
• Articles On Effects Of Gambling
• Effects Of Gambling On Marriage In America
• Effects Of Gambling Addiction
• Effects Of Gambling On Society

When parties get a divorce, and gambling was a marital issue (shockingly, usually for the detriment), the non-gambling spouse will usually communicate to the court that the gambling spouse gambled away community property funds and that she now is part of this debt that can be attributed solely to gambling. Believe it or not, the non-gambling spouse usually does not want to have to pay the gambling spouse’s debts. As a matter of course, all assets and debts that are incurred during the marriage are community property. This is the rule per the Family Code, however, that doesn’t mean that there are not exceptions.

• Problems with gambling can cause serious financial problems as well as a serious strain on a marriage. People with gambling addictions may exhibit a lot of extreme behaviors that can result in financial ruin. Many compulsive gamblers resort to illegal activity, such as stealing, to continue their habits.
• A spouse who has a problem with gambling may be addicted to the thrill he gets from betting on sports, playing poker, buying lottery tickets or hitting the slot machines. This addiction can lead to marital, financial and career problems. Unlike drug or alcohol addiction, a gambling addiction has no clear physical symptoms, according to HelpGuide.org.
• The effects of a spouse’s addiction can reach far beyond the one who has the addiction. Gambling addictions can, and most often do, negatively impact marriage.

Under Family Code §2625, one particular exception can be found. This exception to the general rule states that:

Relationship expert Dr. TC Brantley talks about the affect gamble addiction can have on marriage. The gambling industry has done a superb job of marketing gambling as a social activity or pastime. Poker is regularly on TV, fantasy sports is part of sports, a night out at the casino is normal, and so forth. They've made it as the 'in thing' to do. This is how most people get hooked. There is nothing glamorous or fun about gambling.

“All separate debts, including those debts incurred by a spouse during marriage and before the date of separation that were not incurred for the benefit of the community, shall be confirmed without offset to the spouse who incurred the debt.”

This exception to the general rule is a notable one, because California is a no-fault state. It usually does not matter what a spouse did or did not do. The judge will not take into account the specific facts on what got the parties there or, more importantly to many clients, “why” they are where they are. You’re there. That’s all that matters to the California Courts. However, with the above exception, the Family Code provides the Court with the power to assign the gambling debts of the community solely to the gambling spouse. Thus, the court would be making a division of the marital assets and debts based on fault, and not equality.

FIDUCIARY DUTY OF SPOUSES

The Family Code is forged in what courts believe to be sound public policy. There is probably no other area of law that is more sensitive to the law and public policy, and, specifically, wanting the most equitable result for all the parties involved. The relationship between the law and society’s interest is a reflection of the role that spouses have in their significant other lives and the integral interest society has in those roles. This interest is a direct reflection on how family law is developed. There is no better demonstration of this then the fact that family law orders can preempt even criminal orders in the court of law.

Because of this, the courts do no not mess around when it comes to the obligations and mutual respect of two people that are married. This inherent governance of morality is expressly stated in Family Code§721(b):

“This confidential relationship imposes a duty of the highest good faith and fair dealing on each spouse, and neither shall take any unfair advantage of the other.”

A spouse that tries and take advantage of the other spouse financially in any way, whether it is misappropriating community funds or the nondisclosure of assets, usually find out that was a very big mistake. These actions are contrary to the very foundations of family law.

FELDMAN

As elaborated above, courts do not take kindly to dishonesty, especially to your spouse.

Being consistent with the policy, the courts passed a bill that is now Family Code § 2100. This section states:

“(a) It is the policy of the State of California (1) to marshal preserve, and protect the community and quasi-community assets and liabilities that exist at the date of separation so as to avoid dissipation of the community estate before distribution, (2) to ensure fair and sufficient child and spousal support awards, and (3) to achieve a division of community and quasi-community assets and liabilities on the dissolution or nullity of marriage or legal separation of the parties as provided under California law.

(b) Sound public policy further favors the reduction of the adversarial nature of marital dissolution and the attendant costs by fostering full disclosure and cooperative discovery.

(c) In order to promote this public policy, a full and accurate disclosure of all assets and liabilities in which one or both parties have or may have an interest must be made in the early stages of a proceeding for dissolution of marriage or legal separation of the parties, regardless of the characterization as community or separate, together with a disclosure of all income and expenses of the parties. Moreover, each party has a continuing duty to immediately, fully, and accurately update and augment that disclosure to the extent there have been any material changes so that at the time the parties enter into an agreement for the resolution of any of these issues, or at the time of trial on these issues, each party will have a full and complete knowledge of the relevant underlying facts.”

In summary, public policy favors non-adversarial marital dissolutions, for the parties to cooperate as much as possible, and to immediately and accurately disclose all information. As such, the nondisclosure of assets certainly qualifies as dishonesty, which can carry severe penalties. Just ask Aaron Feldman. He found out the consequences of his non-disclosure and breach of fiduciary duty to his wife in his dissolution action. (See Marriage of FELDMAN [(2007) 153 Cal.App.4^th 1470]).

Social Effects Of Gambling

Traditionally, before Family Code§ 2100, a spouse that did not have access to the material and financial items during the marriage had the right to inquire about all the material assets that that was they knew about, and the knowledgeable spouse had to disclose the information that was requested. This would put the spouse with all the financial access at a very advantageous position. It was very easy to disclose only what they wanted, and the less-knowledgeable spouse would be at their mercy.

In Feldman, the husband Aaron did not disclose many assets, including real estate, businesses, and other financial transactions. His spouse, Elena, through further diligent discovery learned of all these nondisclosures. It was clear Aaron willfully showed a pattern of non-compliance. Elena then filed an application for an order for imposition of monetary sanctions for his willful breach of fiduciary duty, and a to pay her attorney’s fees. And we know what family courts think of the fiduciary duty between spouses.

The trial court granted these motions and on appeal, the Appellate Court affirmed the trial court’s granting of these. Elena was awarded $250,000 in sanctions against Aaron for the breach of his fiduciary duty and an additional $140,000 in attorney’s fees. All told, Aaron had to shell out $390,000 to Elena for his lack of good faith and fair dealing.

The interesting fact here in Feldman was that these sanctions were not ordered under the Code of Civil Procedure, but under Family Code§271(a), which is the part of the Family Code that deals with breaches of fiduciary duty.

Going back to the beginning, Family Code§271(a), as made clear in Feldman, will be used against the breaching party when their conduct frustrates the purpose of public policy. By incorporating Feldman, family courts are again resting on their bedrock principles of equity, which also goes back to the important role in the Court’s eyes that a family plays in society.

The moral of the story is to be truthful regarding finances to your spouse (before and after filing for dissolution), as well as the courts. The penalty for this can extreme.

What do you do if you are married to someone who is caught up into gambling? He or she might even be going down the downhill slope of gambling away your marriage, family relationship, your home and everything you own and treasure.

What if YOU are the gambler who is caught up in this type of behavior?

These are issues we’d like to address in this article that we pray can help you in some way.

When Gambling is Destroying Marriages

We know this is a tall order and that we can only scratch the surface of the subject. But because of the seriousness of this problem, we know it’s important to do what we can to help those who are overwhelmed by it all.

We don’t want to approach this subject as if we are the experts here at Marriage Missions advising you. That is because frankly, we have very little experience in this area of marriage. We do, however, personally know of several couples that have/are dealing with this issue. But that is more of a distant view, rather than an up close and personal one. So we will facilitate within this article, the opportunity for others who are more experienced to share what they have learned.

First:

Lets look at gambling in general to give you information you might find helpful. We’d then like to address the person who is married to the gambler (and other family members and friends). And then we’ll address the gambler, as well.

One of the “truths” concerning gambling that we didn’t know was brought up in an article titled, “Gambling’s Impact on Families.” It is put together by Ronald A. Reno. He wrote:

“A University of Nebraska Medical Center study concluded that problem gambling is as much a risk factor for domestic violence as alcohol abuse. Domestic violence murders in at least 11 states have been traced to gambling problems since 1996.”

Another article written by Ronald Reno (and posted on the Beliefnet.com web site) brings out the scriptural reasons why gambling isn’t something we should indulge in. He brings out the point:

“Jesus commanded, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself‘(Mark 12:31). Gambling, meanwhile, is predicated on the losses, pain, and suffering of others. For one to win at gambling, others must lose. For many, the ramifications attributable to their gambling losses are profound. Families touched by a gambling addiction are at greatly increased risk for such negative outcomes as divorce, bankruptcy, child abuse, domestic violence, crime, and suicide.”

Besides that point, the article brings out others as well, with scriptures to support them. To find out more, please click onto the link below to read:

• GOD AND GAMBLING

What Can You Do?

After you recognize that there is a gambling problem going on within your family and that gambling can grow in its negative impact, what can the family do about it? Marriageuncensored.com had an interesting article posted on their web site that brings out the important point:

“There’s the failure of the non-addicted spouse and other family members to respond appropriately and helpfully to the situation. Now, don’t get me wrong on this. I understand that the person with the addiction is the one who must ultimately take responsibility and make the changes to get healthy. If you are the supportive spouse, I am not suggesting that you are responsible for the addiction or the havoc it’s wreaking in your home.

“I am suggesting, however, that the way in which you respond can either create an environment that will help your spouse beat their addiction, or it can contribute to and compound the problem. As the partner who is one step removed from the addiction, you will have a huge impact on how this will turn out —for better or worse.

“The tendency of many in this situation is to tiptoe around the addict and their habit. But while letting sleeping dogs lie may get you through the day, it will not bring about the results you desire long-term.”

Gamblers and the Denial Factor

Negative Effects Of Gambling

In a web site article, “Tiptoeing Around Addictions” Dr. Dave Currie, with Glen Hoos, made the point that “DENIAL” is one of the “unhealthy ways that “people respond to their spouse’s addiction.” They make the point that the addict tries to deny that there is a problem. But:

“Their spouse, family and friends often get hooked into it as well. The spouse in particular may deny the extent of the problem. They may try to convince themselves that their marriage is strong enough to bear up under this pressure, and that the issue is better left alone.

“You’ve got to be willing to let go of the security of that fantasy, and face reality. The first (and often hardest) step is admitting you have a problem. The issue is there whether you admit it or not; accepting the truth puts you on the road to recovery. If you deny the depth of the problem, your spouse will have no compelling reason to face it either. If this is the case your situation is never going to improve.”

Enablement Concerning Gamblers

And then there is, “ENABLEMENT,” which is “denial taken a step further.” As Dave Currie and Glen Hoos write:

“It’s covering for the addict, protecting them from the natural consequences of their actions. Some examples:

• “The boss calls and asks the woman why her husband isn’t at work today. ‘He’s in bed, sick,’ she answers… neglecting to mention that the sickness is due to a killer hangover incurred the night before.

• “The wife’s gambling addiction has strained the family finances to the point where the bills can no longer be paid. Instead of facing the real issue, the husband arranges to skip a mortgage payment and opens yet another line of credit.”

Facing the Truth

It’s tempting to do this because it seems easier to do this than to face the truth. However, as it’s pointed out:

“What you’re doing when you cover for the person is removing their motivation to change. Maybe he needs to get fired to wake him up. Maybe she needs to go to the store and have her credit card rejected when she’s trying to buy groceries to realize there’s a problem here.”

“Instead of enabling, you’ve got to intervene. Whether that’s a one-on-one confrontation or some kind of a group intervention depends on what you’re facing. But you need to come to the point where you sit down and say, ‘Okay, we have a problem here. What are we going to do about it?'”

Abandonment

Another way that a spouse and family may tiptoe around addiction is that they turn to “ABANDONMENT” as a way to cope.

“They cover for the addict one too many times and have come to the point where they say, ‘You know what? You got yourself into this mess… now get yourself out of it!’ They wash their hands of the situation and leave their spouse to deal with the problem alone.

“It’s understandable that some people get to this point. After all, it’s their spouse who chose this road, and paying for their bad behavior gets old very fast. Nevertheless, if you’re in this position you’ve got to ask yourself how you want this to play out? Do you really want your spouse to get cleaned up and get your marriage back on track? Because if that’s what you want, you’re not going to get it by leaving your husband or wife to fend for themselves. They’re going to need your support and encouragement every step of the way.

Suppress the Urge to Blame

“Somehow, you’ve got to suppress the urge to cast blame and point fingers. Instead of putting the problem between you, you’ve got to stand side-to-side with the problem in front of you and say, ‘We have a problem. It happens to be your addiction, but it’s our problem, and we’re going to solve it together.’ What a world of difference from the, ‘It’s your problem… deal with it!’ approach.

“This is undeniably tough, especially if your spouse is not showing a willingness to do the hard work of recovery. However, don’t mistake support for softness. Supporting your spouse may mean confronting them, refusing to cover for them, and perhaps even separating for a period of time while they work through it. But it’s got to be done in a context of love and encouragement, and an attitude that says, ‘We will do whatever it takes to get you healthy and to put our marriage back on solid ground.'”

Causes And Effects Of Gambling

Now, it’s true that you may have been there and done that. But it’s important not to keep allowing this addiction to keep going on in your home. That is because it will continue to erode your marital relationship until eventually your marriage will be totally destroyed. There is no doubt that help is needed —desperately!

Flying Solo

“FLYING SOLO” is another temptation facing you in all of this. Dave and Glen write further:

“As in many other areas of life, pride can be crippling when it comes to dealing with addiction. Pride causes you to say, ‘We don’t need help. We can handle this on our own.’

“Most addicts require outside help to fully conquer their habits —and fortunately, help is widely available. Whether it’s Gamblers Anonymous, Alcoholics Anonymous, Sex Addicts Anonymous —name the addiction, and there is likely a group to help people through it. And if there aren’t any groups for it, there are counselors, pastors, friends to walk alongside you. And there are helpful resources available that can really make a difference.

“You’d be wise if you reached out for help at this time, and not just for the one with the addiction. There are also support groups for spouses, friends and family of addicts. Talking with others that are on a similar journey can bring you strength in difficult times.”

Articles On Effects Of Gambling

Addiction Info

So, in our search for help for those who are being impacted by the negative effects of gambling upon their lives, we found the following to be something that you may want to use. The authors wrote:

“Because of the involvement of a family member, our hearts have been drawn to the Christian Recovery of Compulsive Gambling and Gambling Addiction. After doing considerable research on the internet on compulsive gambling and participating in the Recovery Process (Gambler’s Anonymous) with a loved one in a Support Group (Gamanon), we would like to share what we have found with all who visit this web site.”

To take advantage of what they offer, whether you are a family member, friend or someone who is dealing with your own gambling issues, please click onto the following web site link:

Effects Of Gambling On Marriage In America

• IS GAMBLING A PROBLEM? Gambling Addiction Information

Something that would be good for the gambler to consider is written by Gregory L. Jantz. Please read:

Effects Of Gambling Addiction

• 14 QUESTIONS EVERY GAMBLER SHOULD ASK

Older Gamblers

And if you think that it’s only those who are younger that are having problems in this area of life, think again. The ministry of Focus on the Family put together a great series of articles. They are aimed to help those who are living out the years of “Midlife and Beyond.” They are betting their life savings away hoping to obtain more to live on in their growing years. To read the first of the series and then continue on to the other articles they offer on this subject, please read:

Effects Of Gambling On Society

• GAMBLING AND SENIORS

We hope you have found this article to be helpful. We encourage you to “Join the Discussion” below if you have further help for those who need it.

Cindy Wright of Marriage Missions International wrote this article.